I know, strange title. But that is exactly what I had, a daddy revelation. For those that don’t know me, I will provide a very brief back story. My father passed away due to bone cancer that had spread to his lungs and then to his brain when I was two years old. My father loved me very much, or so I am told. I do not remember my father at all. But please, no pity party. This is a post about my revelation I had today.
My father was a man who I am told was very much like myself. Tough as nails and country as I’ll get out, but I reckon I’m mighty different from him. I’m getting a college education instead of settling where I was raised. I am learning that despite the stereotypes I was raised with, city folk are alright, even fun to hang around. My best friend is actually a Northern city girl (yeah I know, double yikes). But she is actually pretty nice, and we get along great. I am not sure Daddy would have approved, but I reckon I will find out one day when I finally meet him. Which brings me back to my original point, my daddy revelation.
Since my father passed when I was so young, I never had that father-daughter connection that I have heard is so lovely. Instead, I have had to search my entire life for it, wanting the protector I’ve heard fathers can be. Yes, I have a post called Superhero where I have already stated most of this, but I need to get it out again, and hope that it will reach someone who needs to hear it……… I needed my daddy, and my daddy wasn’t there. He couldn’t be. I remember as a kid catching snowflakes on my tongue and wishing that my father would be brought back to life, knowing it was a wish that could never be granted, but praying that somehow it would be. But it wasn’t. Of course not. I would tell friends how much I missed my father and all they could say was “I understand how you fell” I honestly would love to slap every person that has ever said that to me. You don’t “understand”. You can’t. You haven’t been there, and if you have, then you still don’t know what it is like for me. You can’t know because we are all different. Yes, it still hurts when I think on what I’ve missed, but that is where my revelation comes in.
Psalm 68:5 “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling”. My GOD loves me like my biological father would have. GOD is my protector, the thing that I have searched for for so long. I only thought I needed my father, but I really needed GOD. HE is my heavenly father. I am not sure why I thought that I needed more when I have always had all I ever needed. I was just too blind in my own insecurity to see it. GOD has always been and always will be. I relish in the love of my FATHER. A love that you can’t describe unless you have been there. Unless you have experienced it. It is wonderful. It is pure. It is joy. It is patient. It is kind. It is true love. Not the fancy butterfly feeling you get when you see your crush, but a true, pure love. It is GOD.