Dear 16 Year Old Me

Dear 16 Year Old Viv,

It’s me, well, actually, it’s you. It’s you five years from where you are now. I’m now 21 years old and living a life you would not believe. In fact, I know you won’t. I know that right now you are still grieving the secrets that you hold so dear. I know that you are terrified to tell anyone. I know that you are constantly shaming yourself. I know that you feel dirty because of all that has happened. I won’t lay it out here. You’re not ready to read it from another perspective. I know that. That’s not why I’m writing this dear Viv. I’m writing this because I want you to know something. I want you to know that the life that you are living now is not the life that God has for you. Wait, I forgot, you don’t know God yet. But you will meet Him. You will meet Him and fall in love.

In just a little over a year, you will personally meet Jesus. He will come into your heart and just love you. For the first time in three years, the pain that is so deeply ingrained in your chest will be gone. He will set your free of your anxiety. In five years, you will be free from your deep fear of men. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. You are going to fall in love with children who have stories just like yours. You are going to do everything in your power to ensure that no child is ever hurt like you were. None of this is to say that you will do it without pain, because there will be plenty of that. But you are going to go to college, you are going to live your life, you are going to have more good friends than you ever thought possible. But most importantly, in five years time, you will come to love Jesus and you will understand the deep love that He has for you. In five years, you are going to personally see that there is life amongst the pain that you have now. In five years, you are going to be well on your way to healing and helping others. There is nothing that can stop you aside from God Himself. Carry on my younger Viv. Carry on.

With Love Always,

21 Year Old Viv.